It was a time filled with uncertainty, fear, and worry, but I think it was a year where we really learned a lot about ourselves. Well at least I did. There have been many times I felt uncomfortable and out of control, which led me to shed a few tears, but also dig deep, grow and learn to let go of some bad habits while creating some new ones.

While many will remember 2020 negatively, I am choosing to focus on the positive that did come out of it. Here are 6 lessons I learned in 2020!

Lesson 1. Being Vulnerable is not a Weakness

I think one of the biggest lessons I learned was that it is okay to not be okay. I really never stress or suffer from anxiety, but this year definitely gave me some moments of downright panic, fear and anxiousness. These were relatively new feelings for me and I didn’t know what to do or how to process them necessarily at first. When COVID hit, I was so nervous, especially after watching the news or browsing social media. All of these questions were running through my mind….With lockdowns happening, how would my husband work? As a stay at home mom, we solely rely on his income, and what would we do if he couldn’t work? Would we have to move? How long would our savings last? When would it end? Would we be able to fight COVID? Would our family? So many things to worry about and FEAR!

I’m not typically one who expresses any negativity to anyone, except for my husband maybe, but letting those thoughts run through my head were consuming and stressful. I was starting to get anxiety and have trouble sleeping, which was already pretty minimal because I had a 4 month old at the time.

I would then get frustrated because I wasn’t being strong and didn’t want to stress out my husband either. It was such an interesting time. But one day, I broke down and cried. I told my husband all my fears, he told me his and it was rough. And we felt vulnerable. And scared.

But then something magical happened. We found strength in each other. We found strength in ourselves. And we realized that we could literally lose everything, but that we would always have each other and we could rebuild. It almost gave us a sense of freedom knowing that if we hit rock bottom, it could only go up.

Major Takeaway!

There is a beauty in being vulnerable. With vulnerability, you allow yourself to experience a deep and true connection- with yourself, with your partner, even with the world around you.

Lesson 2. A Social Media Detox is Good For the Soul

When COVID hit, I found myself obsessively checking the news online, trying to figure out what the heck was going on around the world. I went on Facebook or Instagram and friends would be posting about it as well. I was being inundated with information and various viewpoints, some negative and some positive. But all together, it was overwhelming and exhausting.

So I decided to stop going on social media, stop checking the news. Setting time limits for various apps and really just getting away from my phone. And let me tell you, it felt so GOOD!!

When I could put my phone down and away, it allowed me to focus on my family, my health and my home. Instead of mindlessly scrolling through Instagram or Pinterest, I read more books, took more walks, and just enjoyed the beautiful simple things around me.

I noticed that FEAR started leaving and TRUST started appearing more. No longer was I picking up people’s energy and absorbing it and it felt so good. I think this is something that I will continue to do in the future. A few days a month of not checking Instagram or reading the news is definitely good for the soul.

Lesson 3. Self Care Isn’t Selfish

Obvious right? Like duh, you need to take care of yourself. But this was a hard one for me. I came into 2020 just a few months postpartum, so hormones were still high and sleep was at an all time low. My body had just undergone a massive change being pregnant and adjusting to two kids was an adventure. Plain and simple, I was exhausted.

Add in lockdowns, where you can’t see your friends and family, can’t go places and are indoors a lot, I felt like every day was groundhog day.

I needed some ME time, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask for it. My husband works so hard with his own business, sometimes working 10-15 hour days. How can I possibly ask him to sacrifice his time so that I could have some of my own. And how would we even fit that in? I was even getting jealous of him driving alone because he was able to listen to what he wanted, have freedom and just be able to think or not think.

It quickly became apparent something needed to change. My husband is the sweetest and he started helping me find pockets of time where he could take over and I could practice some self-care. We started off with him taking the girls out for a morning walk for 30 minutes so I can drink my coffee, do some journaling and get dressed for the day. Then we would add some time in the afternoon so I could get a little workout in or take a bath! These small little moments of self-care started to really make a difference in my mental health and overall well-being.

Practicing self-care means you believe you are worthy. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, hour long rituals that you do every day. But it does mean that you show up for yourself, you advocate and you prioritize your well-being by participating in some kind of activity, ritual, or routine that nourishes your soul. Self-care is self-love.

Lesson 4. You Will Not Be Everyone’s Cup of Tea

Hi. My name is Kari. I’m a Libra. Enneagram 9 (the peacemaker) and I strongly despise conflict. I often steer clear of voicing my opinions on politics or other highly-debatable topics because I just don’t want to argue with anyone.

This year I have seen so much divide and anger and hatred for others because of their beliefs. Honestly, I don’t think the world has ever been more divided. And while I strongly despise this, it has shown me that I cannot be everyone’s cup of tea. It’s actually impossible. I can be the most delicious cup of tea ever and there will be someone who doesn’t like tea at all.

So stop worrying about others will think. I think it’s actually beneficial to surround yourself with people who have varying viewpoints because everyone can learn and grow from each other. And sometimes your beliefs might even evolve into something different. And that’s okay. “You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, your edge. Apologize for mistakes. Apologize for unintentionally hurting someone-profusely. But don’t apologize for being who you are.”

DANIELLE LAPORTE, BEST-SELLING AUTHOR OF THE DESIRE MAP

Don’t hide your beliefs because someone might judge you for them, feel scared to share your view on something or feel pressured to try and conform to what mainstream society wants. I’m not saying to be rude and go on Facebook rants or whatever because that’s just too much DRAMA for this MAMA! But be okay with knowing that you might believe in something that others will judge you for. It’s okay. You are not everyone’s cup of tea.

Lesson 5. Release the Need to Always be in Control

I think one of the biggest lessons I learned in 2020 is that I will not always be in control. Obviously, we can change our environment to reduce the odds of certain things occuring, and we can try to be prepared, but there will always be a certain level of unpredictability in life. Releasing that need to control leads to so much more happiness and peace. It takes us out of that “fight or flight” mode, and allows for us to really identify what is triggering us and how we can grow from it.

This year, I started to freak out and lose track of the more calm and collected version of myself. I had to find her again, so I really focused on identifying what was triggering me. I think for me the uncertainty of this year was a trigger. Everything around me was chaotic and I don’t love dwelling in chaos.

So here is what I did…

• focused on things I could control (my health, productivity levels etc.)
• breathed when I started to feel triggered and tense
• recognized that a thought or a feeling was temporary
• repeated affirmations ..I am safe, I am secure, I am healthy.

When I started doing these things, I then began to see that I was being triggered because ultimately I had lost my sense of trust. Regardless if you believe in God or some other kind of Higher Power, I think the belief that you are taken care of, loved and protected can help you get through anything. You literally have to give up control to feel it.

Once I gave up having to control and surrendered, I felt this overwhelming sense of peace again. I am loved, I am safe and I can get through anything!

Also, I highly recommend listening to Surrender by Natalie Taylor!

Lesson 6. Be Satisfied with the Now

I think we all do this, but I am definitely guilty of doing this more times than I would like. Saying things like “as soon as I lose 10 pounds I will start a blog” or “once this is over, then I will start doing this.” You start chasing something and looking so forward to the future that you aren’t being appreciative of the now. It’s human nature to always want more, but if you don’t ever stop and appreciate the steps and journey it took to get there, what’s the point?

Life is truly a gift and there is no guarantee for a tomorrow. Cliche right? But it’s so true. Once you start focusing on being present and being grateful for the things happening in your life now, life changes. I’ve never found such happiness in doing even the simple things- sitting on the beach with my family, waving to neighbors, even just driving down the coast.

Once I stopped pushing things off and just doing them, like this blog, I found such an excitement and thrill. It gave me a higher sense of happiness and I found connection and community. But most of all I didn’t have to be perfect to create that. I just started appreciating the now.

You are Amazing!

Wow! If you made it this far and read the entire post to see what 6 lessons I learned in 2020, you are an angel sent from above! Haha! I know it’s long and I know it might not make sense, but I wanted to share some of the great things that have come from this year.

2020 was uncomfortable. It was like getting a new pair of shoes and getting blisters every day. But then one day, you didn’t get any and you broke in the shoe. And now it’s your favorite, well-worn shoe. That’s what this year was. A stinky smelly old shoe. Hahaha jk! It was a year for growth!

And you better believe this caterpillar is ready to spread its wings and fly. Literally I am ready to travel the world in 2021.

As always I love and appreciate you all for following along on this journey with us! Thank you!

Don’t forget to read Melissa’s post about some amazing new lip colors! Just in time for your New Year’s Kiss!

xoxoxoxo,

Kari

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